Sex is an intimate and gratifying way to connect with your partner, but cumming too early can make it less pleasurable. Fortunately, there are techniques and over-the-counter treatments that can help you last longer in bed.
Some antidepressants, such as citalopram (Celexa), escitalopram (Lexapro) and paroxetine (Prozac), can also delay PE. Psychotherapy can be helpful as well.
Breathing
Men who want to last longer in the bedroom often turn to breathing techniques to slow down ejaculation. They may try to take deeper breaths, count their breaths, or rock their pelvic floor to move sexual energy away from the genital area and toward the brain.
Some people also try to reduce stimulation by stopping themselves just before climax, known as the stop-start method. This can delay orgasm, which often leads to a more intense final release. Others find it helpful to think about something unrelated to sex or focus on picturing their penis remaining hard.
The way you breathe directly influences your climax. When you are nervous, you tend to tense up and take shallow breaths. This can cause you to go into a mild fight or flight arousal that signals to your body that it’s time for semen to exit the cock.
Breathing exercises like box breathing can help you relax, increase the amount of oxygen you’re getting and increase your feeling of euphoria. They work best when practiced alone before trying them in the bedroom with a partner. You can also try a mindfulness technique that involves being more present in the moment, or taking the focus off sexual activity and focusing on your body and feelings instead. Some people also try a drug called dapoxetine (brand name Priligy), which increases the levels of serotonin in their bodies, which has been shown to decrease premature ejaculation.
Massage
A lot of sexual techniques can help delay ejaculation and they may also be helpful for increasing the duration of sex. In one method, called the pause-squeeze technique, you (or your partner) stimulate yourself until you feel like you’re about to orgasm and then stop stimulating. Then you squeeze the head of your penis, which decreases arousal and helps defer orgasm. This can be done a number of times and over time can help build control over ejaculation.
Another technique is to use a lubricant that contains numbing agents such as lidocaine or benzocaine. These can be found over the counter and come in small single-use packets. A third option is to use specially designed “climax control” condoms that have built-in numbing gel and are thicker than standard latex condoms, such as Trojan Extended Pleasure or Durex Prolong.
Finally, focusing your attention on nonsexual things can divert your mind from the physical urge to orgasm. For example, you can try naming sequences such as a list of the names of the businesses in your neighborhood or the members of your favorite sports team. These and other coping strategies can be useful for both men and women who experience PE. If you or a loved one is having problems with PE, a urologist can recommend treatment options. Psychosexual therapy with a trained therapist can also be very helpful.
Stimulation
Even the most experienced guys often get overly excited in the bedroom and climax too soon. While this is not a sexual health problem and usually does not need treatment, many guys want to prolong the pleasure of sex to the benefit of themselves and their partners. Fortunately, there are many over-the-counter treatments and techniques that can help slow down the time it takes to climax in bed.
Most of these remedies involve stimulating the penis to delay orgasm. This can include using a vibrator, applying lubricant or kissing. However, it is important to remember that all of these techniques are based on theory and have little or no scientific support. The best solution may be to try a behavioral program designed to improve self-control in the bedroom. Unfortunately, this can be one of the most difficult to learn and requires patience, practice and commitment from both the man and his partner.
For example, a technique called the “start-stop” technique involves getting to the point of orgasm and then stopping all stimulation for 30 seconds. Then, the man and his partner start over again until he feels that he is ready to ejaculate. Then, he can continue the session. This can be repeated as needed to increase the amount of time he is able to go without ejaculating.
Focus
Premature ejaculation can be frustrating for both the person who is prone to it and their partner. It can ruin a good time in the bedroom and may cause problems down the line. But there are ways to prevent PE and improve sex satisfaction. These techniques range from products like Promescent Delay Spray to exercises that can be done in the comfort of home.
While it’s normal to finish sex quickly once in a while, people who consistently cum too soon should seek help. Psychotherapy can help identify underlying psychological causes such as anxiety, depression or relationship problems. It can also recommend personalized exercises that can delay ejaculation during intercourse.
One way to delay ejaculation is to distract the mind with nonsexual activities. Some people find it helpful to name sequences of things they see on a daily basis, such as all the businesses they pass when driving to work or all the players on their favorite sports team. Others use breathing exercises to refocus the mind and reduce stimulation during sex.
Another way to slow down climax is to take a break from penetration and shift to foreplay or oral sex instead. This can help the male regain control over his erection and delay climax. Other options include the Masters and Johnson method (reduce stimulation as climax approaches) and the stop-start technique (reduce stimulation, pause for a few minutes and then start again). It’s important to remember that condoms aren’t just a contraceptive; they can also reduce sensation for the male by helping to absorb the effects of physical stimulation.
