It’s not easy to date someone from behind bars. They’re going to be judging you from the start, as well as others in prison and at home.
It’s important to write a lot, more than you visit, and get to know them better. This will help to avoid being taken advantage of.
1. Get to Know Him Better
Getting to know someone better is always important in any relationship, but it’s even more vital when you’re dating someone in prison. This is because, as a couple, you will be dealing with a lot of hardships from the start. So, it’s important that you take the time to understand him and what he wants from your relationship. This way, you won’t fall into the trap of lust and end up in an abusive situation.
Inmates want companionship just as much as people on the outside. They need it to feel normal, and they also love hearing from their friends on the outside. They may not get to spend a lot of time with their loved ones, but the letters they receive will brighten their day and keep them going!
One of the best ways to connect with a prisoner is through websites like Meet-an-Inmate. This site has a large database of available inmates who are looking for pen pals. You can search for inmates by location to find inmates closer to you, or you can randomize your location and find someone further away.
2. Be Honest
As with any type of relationship, honesty is crucial. This is especially true when dating a prisoner as you will have to be honest with them about your feelings, even if they are irrational or stupid. Otherwise, you could end up with a bigger problem than what you started with.
It is also important to be honest about what you are looking for in a partner. Many prisoners want to get out of jail as quickly as possible, and they may not be the best candidate for a serious long-term relationship. It’s important to find out what they are looking for in a partner before getting too involved.
For example, if they are convicted of murder or rape, you might be better off finding someone else to date. On the other hand, if they are convicted of a less serious crime, such as robbery or drug dealing, you should be careful that they don’t go back to those ways when they leave prison. If they do, you could end up getting hurt again. Be sure to ask about what they are convicted of so you can be aware of any red flags.
3. Set Some Boundaries
If you have decided to start dating a man in prison or someone who used to be in jail, it is important to set some boundaries. Prison culture is very different and there are certain things that you should not tolerate from him.
Make sure you ask to see their visiting list before you get too involved with him. If they are reluctant to show it to you, there may be a reason why. It could be that they already have another partner on the list or they might think you are their competition.
Also, if he is always complaining about being in prison or about how unfair life is for him, then this is a red flag that he is not thinking clearly and you should walk away from the relationship. This type of negative attitude will only keep him in prison for longer than necessary. Instead, try to motivate him and give him hope for a better future once he is released from jail. Also, try to make him realize that his problems are not his fault and it is not fair for him to blame himself all the time.
4. Be Prepared
If you are serious about dating a prisoner, it is important to be prepared for what is involved. Not only is he going to be away from you for most of the time, but he will also be confined to a small area where he cannot see or speak to anyone else. This is very hard for many people to get used to.
It is also important to know that prisoners can be manipulative and will try to take advantage of you. If they start asking for money or items, this is a sign that they are trying to use you. It is better to end the relationship right away before it gets too complicated.
Another thing to keep in mind is that prisoners may be rejected by their former employers, friends, and family members after being released from jail. They will need to learn how to cope with these types of situations and move on. If they are not able to move on, they will likely find themselves in prison again. Therefore, it is important to teach them how to deal with rejection and continue to work on themselves in a healthy way.
5. Be Realistic
As you can imagine, dating someone who is incarcerated has its own unique challenges. It is important to be realistic about this before beginning a relationship with an inmate. It is also important to be prepared for the fact that this type of relationship may be long-distance, at least initially.
In addition, you will likely be communicating with an inmate through pen pal services rather than in person. This means that you will not be able to see them in person very often, and it will be easy for them to get distracted by other love interests and end up speaking to multiple people at the same time.
It is important to ask yourself why you want to date a prisoner, and this can be helpful when setting boundaries and expectations. Be honest about your reasons and don’t let others influence your decision. This will help you stay focused and ensure that your relationship has the best chance of succeeding in the long run. This is a hugely difficult thing to do, but it is possible to have an enduring and meaningful relationship with a man in prison.
