How to Make a Homemade Vagina

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Your vulva naturally has a healthy pH balance and is filled with critical bacteria that protect against infection. Anything that decreases or kills these “good” bacteria can allow opportunistic germs to overgrow, leading to discomfort and infection.

Here are a few household items you can use to make a homemade vagina. Just be sure to apply lube before use!

1. Aloe Vera

Although there is no evidence to support it, some people claim that spreading aloe vera on to the genital area can tighten the pelvic muscles. However, experts advise that such self-treatment should only be undertaken with the advice of a qualified gynaecologist.

Lemon leaves, chamomile oil and aloe vera are natural feminine wash herbs that cleanse the vagina without disrupting the normal pH balance and also help to remove any foul smell down there. They are also packed with antibacterial and anti-fungal properties that prevent yeast infections, and they have toning effects too.

They are a good alternative to store-brought intimate washes, which often contain chemicals that can cause a lot of problems for the delicate skin down there. But be careful when using store-bought lubricants, as they can cause a wide variety of allergic reactions. Some of them can even contain latex, which could be a problem for anybody with a latex allergy.

2. Yogurt

A few years ago, a group of female friends got fed up with the lack of recipes using naturally occurring female vaginal secretions, like semen salad dressing or cum-based cocktails. So one of the MD/PhD students, Cecilia Westbrook, decided to unlock her inner food-maker by making yogurt from her lady juices.

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Every vagina is home to hundreds of different types of bacteria and organisms. One of the dominant ones is lactobacillus, which also happens to be what people sometimes use to culture milk, cheese, and yogurt.

So, Westbrook mixed a bit of her own vaginal bacteria with some traditional yogurt and left it to do its thing overnight. The result was a batch of homemade vaginal yogurt that tasted “sour, tangy, and almost tingly on the tongue,” according to Westbrook. She ate it with some blueberries. And while she claims her homemade vaginal yogurt cured her yeast infection, she admits it isn’t scientifically valid because, as microbiologist Larry Forney says, when you collect vaginal secretions to make yogurt, you get everything inside them, not just the lactobacillus.

3. Sandalwood

Sandalwood is an essential oil which can be applied to the vulva for vaginal cleansing. It is known to remove the odors caused by vaginal discharge and makes it feel soft. It also soothes the genital area and reduces inflammation. It is recommended to use diluted sandalwood oil for vaginal cleansing twice a day.

Another natural way to keep your vulva feeling fresh and clean is by applying the following mixture: Mix 3 ounces of yogurt with 1 ounce of warm spring water and use it as a douche twice a day. You can also add a drop of perfume to the mixture. Make sure that the perfume is not too strong since it can cause irritation around your vulva area.

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You can also try making a DIY pocket pussy using a glove and some bubble wrap. This method is commonly recommended on masturbation sites like JackinWorld, and it can deliver a great sensation similar to a Fleshlight. However, you should always lube it up before using it.

4. Tomato Juice

If a Fleshlight isn’t in the budget, some clever (and apparently very horny) earthlings have devised these ingenious DIY pocket pussies. They can be warmed up to amp up sensations and if lubed like you would a real penis can provide an awesome, all-encompassing love tunnel feeling.

Our lady parts naturally have a number of bacteria that help with digestion and produce lactic acid, hydrogen peroxide, and other things to keep the area healthy. Unfortunately, soap destroys these good bacteria and can cause a host of problems.

A homemade vagina wash will contain natural ingredients that are incredibly effective. Basil leaves have eugenol that helps desensitise the nerves in the vulva and chamomile oil has antibacterial, antifungal and antioxidant properties. A teaspoon of each will make a great cleanser. Also include vinegar as it restores the proper pH balance. These herbs will also tone, tighten and remove any foul odors.

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5. Cucumber Juice

There isn’t a shortage of bizarre health hacks that suggest cucumbers are the next panacea. From rubbing slices on your eyes to reduce swelling (it doesn’t) to inserting them into the vagina to “cleanse” it, the recommendations are endless.

Cucumbers, however, aren’t just good for your eyes – they’re also great for creating a DIY pocket pussy that can be warmed to amplify pleasure levels. The method involves placing a rubber glove over your penis and pushing it inside of a small container, turning the glove inside out and adding lube for extra sensations.

Another way to create a homemade vagina is by using potato juice, which contains whitening properties and turmeric, which helps whiten the skin. Similarly, hollowing out a banana peel and pushing it into the orifice can give you that same tight sensation as a Fleshlight – but with more natural simulation.

6. Potato

Potato is a natural bleaching agent that helps lighten the skin of the vagina. Mix it with sandalwood, tomato juice and cucumber juice and apply it to the affected area daily to get rid of darkness. You can also use a mixture of vinegar, turmeric and salt and rub it on the walls of the vagina to reduce dark spots.

Jelly is another household item that can be used to simulate a love tunnel. Adding warm jelly or even microwaving it creates an incredible feeling of friction and suction that nothing else can replicate. Pushing a penis in and out of this mix delivers trembling, shuddering sensations that are eerily close to necrophilia.

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